To Cuba With Love~
I found a story that was written for me in 2006, by a California native elder named Julie, who did work in organizing events and conferences of native culture and gatherings. I met her at an auspicious time when I was desperately seeking guidance. I was utterly lost at this time, having walked away from my dream career path vocation only to end up chronically ill and stymied by the financial crises that befalls an illness that takes away your ability to thrive. I was honestly miserably unhappy, angry too at the circumstances in my life that somehow had happened, or that I allowed to happen that were now taking over my soul to boot, not just my body.
I was up at an event called, Chaw'se at the grinding rock monument in Pine Grove near Yosemite in the mid-2000's. It was a Native Miwok/Miwuk gathering that I had been introduced from my sister in law who has now passed on. She used to come and sell her jewelry here and I came once to help her set up and break down in the hot dry afternoons of mountainous air. This place was magical, quiet in the truest sense. One could take small walks around a loop while the gathering, or Big Time as it is known was going on. Tribal members sold their wares, danced in the roundhouse and sold fry bread tacos at the concession stands. You didn't have to be native to attend or even sell I think, so long as it was approved of by tribal members. I remember having the space to just meander around to different vendors quietly, trying my best not to toy with anyone looking for a sale, I was clear I was just looking. I didn't have the money to be buying anything I didn't really need at this point. So I just looked and swallowed in the ambience of this gathering.
Well, it has been 10 years since then and I have gone to hell and back twice, returning barely intact to come out and face myself and the world, in the deepest sense of that meaning. I have swam to the deepest parts of my soul and sat quietly listening to what was there and what was missing. I have been put through a ringer of tests both by the universe, my friends, my body and ultimately my soul because I was not listening well enough. I met with challenges I did not yield from while falling into the dark night of the soul for many years. I have learnt hard earned lessons, etched into my bones in case my mind forgets them someday.
I was nowhere near ready then and because so, the blade broke right off like a leaf falling from a dead tree: with no effort. So I had it fixed by Richard, the original maker of the knife got it back thinking I was ready, then I broke it again. I was humbled by this display of silliness and clumsy-fingered excitement so I put it away until I was ready. That was some time ago, many years in fact. I recently remembered this knife after a long bout of personal and health crises nearly took me down, but didn't. I survived it and have come through intact and essentially new again, but stronger than before. Wiser.
Now, things have changed. With a fortitude in my gut, a clarity in my heart of great desire burning strong and quietly within me, I am ready now to walk forward with knife in hand, power intact and whole.
What a trip that was to be audio witness to! While it was happening I just sat back and reveled at the oddity of humanity and all it's wondrous strange, inventiveness. Especially in the face of fear and discomfort. Man has created a LOT of things to quell himself, to quiet the inner turmoil and shadow of death from drugs to religion to politics to war to addiction to technology and so on.
It's boundless the creativity of man and sometimes the dark depths he will go to avoid the mortal coil of life: The daily drudgery of our existence.
The escapism that manifests out of our angst and turmoil never ceases to end so long as we feel so much. The avoidance that becomes joy that becomes avoidance that becomes pain again is endless. Ah so it be. Fascinating!
In the mean time…listen to this. This Mortal Coil.
AND then this really great one! Because honestly I have nothing more to say about Glossolalia except that maybe someday I'll see someone do it again at an actual underground church with snakes, flailing and all. Then I'll have more to write about, for now….this is WAY better than what I got….In fact it's epic.
(ignore the corporate commercial of sell outs beforehand selling out, with artists formerly known as artists who like so many in our culture are embracing a culture of whoredom and calling it a living). Bleh…
Carry on ~